What to do when your partner won't commit

What to do when your partner won’t commit

It’s frustrating being in a relationship with someone who isn’t as committed as you are, especially when you’re ready to take things to the next level. No matter what you try, they refuse to budge and your feelings of doubt, insecurity, and self-doubt start creeping up. You don’t know what to do.

What to do when your partner won't commit

If you are in a relationship with someone who is unwilling to commit, it can be easy to start doubting yourself and your worth. You might find yourself wondering what you could have done differently or if there is something wrong with you that is making them not want to commit. It is important to remember that this isn’t about you and that you are not responsible for their unwillingness to commit.

What I want to talk with you about…

In this blog, I am going to talk to you about just how you could and should handle that frustrating situation so that you can get the life that you want and find the happiness that you seek.

The reason why you need to know how…

It’s essential to understand what to do if your partner is unwilling to commit because, as it stands, you probably feel like your life isn’t going anywhere. If you feel stuck and like nothing is happening, know that in order to create change, you have to be proactive. Taking action is the key to moving forward. In order to get your life back on track and achieve the happiness you deserve, it’s important that you know how to deal with this particular situation.

3 things you should do when your partner won’t commit

1. Communicate meaningfully. The aim of this discussion is for you to comprehend your partner’s perspective. You can only achieve this by being receptive and listening with both your heart and mind.

Once you have asked all the questions that you have, and I mean all the questions and you are fully in a place of understanding your partner, then it is time for you to express what you want clearly without holding back so that your partner fully and clearly understands where you are at and what your needs and wants are from the relationship and from your partner.

If you want something different than what they are offering, then you need to make that clear. The key is, to be honest with each other and come to a resolution or an agreement about what is going to work for both parties so that both of your needs are being met.

2. If you and your partner can not come to an agreement, you want a commitment and your partner does not, and yet you are having a hard time deciding what you need to do then do the following:

  • Get clarity about your own life by beginning to focus on what it is that you want for yourself in the greater picture of things.  Basically, you are now going to sharply focus on yourself in every way so that you can get in touch with who you are, and who you want to be becoming.  You are doing that so that you can more become in tune with your true self and gain easy access to what you will need to do to move forward in your authentic way.

3. While you are working on your life, begin establishing your boundary with your partner.

You need to clearly communicate what you are willing to tolerate and what you are not. 

You need to let them know that you are working on what you must do and that includes practicing who you are and who you want to be and what it is that you want to draw to your life. 

Tell them that even though you two might still be together, your own life is going to be different now.  You need to do this so that they clearly learn what your boundaries are.

Key Considerations For Successfully gaining what you want.

The reason why you need to focus on your life during this time is to discover what your true wants are. 

What you really want is for your partner to commit to you. While it is understandable that you want your partner to commit to you, this desire isn’t wholly accurate. What you are wanting in truth is what your partner committing means to you, the effect that it will have in your life.

You want to create a lasting and secure relationship with someone you can build your life with.  Keep in mind that you cannot control what another person wants. You don’t want to control what they want.  You want them to want you of their own free will.

If the person you’re with doesn’t want what you want, then focusing on your life and being your true self will allow the right person to come to you. You can only find the real right person when you are in alignment with yourself.

A potential partner will only want a relationship with you if it happens naturally while you are living your life. Therefore, commitment and connection will happen in the right way. Trying to make something happen or forcing someone into it won’t work.  A relationship lacking in authenticity will not stand the test of time.

So take a break from thinking about what you want from your partner and focus on yourself for a bit. Once you have clarity about what you really want in life, take action steps to go out and get it.

If you focus on bettering yourself and setting relationship boundaries with your partner, the right person will come along that wants the same things as you. This way, you can build the relationship of your dreams.

Here’s a thing to remember…

Sometimes, we become so infatuated with someone that even if they don’t want us as much as we want them, we are willing to keep them in our lives. The thought of losing them is more painful than being without them.  It is understandable.

In the long run, couples who stay in a relationship where one partner wanted out more often than not end up suffering. The individual who was more invested in the relationship pays for it emotionally by living with a sense of rejection from their partner for the duration of the relationship.

The truly sad part is that the person who wants them more will have to go through the pain of a breakup, but they might discover a better version of themselves and find someone who loves them just as much in return. If this happens, then they will spend the rest of their life feeling loved, secure, and at peace.

Coercing someone into doing something they don’t want to do will come back to bite you in the long run. This doesn’t even take into account what you have to go through as well.

If you want to be loved and happy, sometimes you need to let go of the person who doesn’t want what you do. It’s painful, but breaking up can make you stronger and more beautiful. Be open to the idea of meeting someone new that could make you truly happy.  By making this decision, you will reap the benefits of true happiness and true love.

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