What I’m learning from dealing with a bully (as a lifelong people-pleaser) I used to believe love could heal almost anything — that goodness and kindness would eventually win people over. I still believe in the power of compassion, but not the way I used to. I’m learning that love and generosity must be given…
Turning Worry into Progress: Why I’m Writing a Book About My Weakest Flaw One of my most disempowering habits is extreme worry — the kind that takes over when events feel beyond my control. For months I struggled through a difficult real‑estate purchase and the relationship problems that came with it. I felt lost, frightened,…
You have so much to gain by facing your pain rather than avoiding it. Around eight years ago, I put myself through an eight-week, self‑imposed healing boot camp. During that time, I learned powerful emotional skills—some became daily habits, others I reach for in moments of distress. Recently I needed to chase after a pain…
You must know why exercise is important and act on those whys if you want to be your very best in every possible way. Marcus Aurelius and other stoic philosophers would say that we live in our bodies therefore exercising every day is essential if you want to be your optimal self. They were not…
Do you know how to be yourself? What I have learned, after many years of struggle, is that it is quite simple. It is simple but it takes discipline and practice. I grew up both confused by what “just be yourself,” meant exactly and frustrated at my inability to “just” be myself. It didn’t help…
We can all get triggered by external events to different degrees from time to time. If we learn how to deal with triggers in proactive ways, we can add to who we are becoming in a powerfully positive way. I used to try my best to avoid people and things that trigger negative emotions. Either…
No matter how talented and gifted you are and no matter how much others tell you that to your face, if you don’t know how to believe in yourself, you have very little to go on. Believing in yourself is a great gift that you give yourself and your world. It is a way that…
They say that patience is a virtue. Patience is also a powerful life tool that helps you to be not only a kind person but also a powerfully effective and emotionally intelligent person. It is well worth our time to learn how to be patient for those reasons and more. When you lose patience with…
Do you find yourself thinking often about things that happened in your past and feel angry, sad, hurt, resentful, helpless, or guilty? Do these moments make you unhappy or make you lose time? If you answered yes to these questions, you may need to learn how to let go of the past. There are just…
If something that you did in your past, a mistake that you made hunts you and makes you feel that you don’t truly deserve what is good, you may be a victim of toxic shame. Living with shame is poisonous to your emotional health. I am not advocating that you don’t feel guilt when you…