For much of my life, I was told I was “thin-skinned.” I’m not entirely convinced I’ve shed that habit completely, but I’m grateful to be learning otherwise. Over the years I’ve been fortunate to have teachers—people and life experiences—that encouraged me to question my reflexive reactions, examine my feelings, and take responsibility for my judgments. …
Fear has been an unwelcome companion for most of my adult life. It has shaped decisions, narrowed possibilities, and sometimes dictated how I responded to the world. Recently, though, a particular situation has made that old, familiar fear resurface with surprising intensity, giving me a clearer view of how much of my past still lives…
Not long ago I woke from a dream that left me thinking about what it truly means to be “stuck.” In the dream I found myself unable to move. Panic rose as the environment around me shifted into danger: I needed to move, to escape, to act. But my body felt heavy and inert, as…
This morning I woke to a heavy, familiar weight: a sense of depression that made my chest tight and my thoughts small. In those first groggy moments, it’s easy to let the narrative take over—that sense that you’re failing somehow, that you should have all the answers, that you are somehow lesser for feeling this…
What I’m learning from dealing with a bully (as a lifelong people-pleaser) I used to believe love could heal almost anything — that goodness and kindness would eventually win people over. I still believe in the power of compassion, but not the way I used to. I’m learning that love and generosity must be given…
Turning Worry into Progress: Why I’m Writing a Book About My Weakest Flaw One of my most disempowering habits is extreme worry — the kind that takes over when events feel beyond my control. For months I struggled through a difficult real‑estate purchase and the relationship problems that came with it. I felt lost, frightened,…
You have so much to gain by facing your pain rather than avoiding it. Around eight years ago, I put myself through an eight-week, self‑imposed healing boot camp. During that time, I learned powerful emotional skills—some became daily habits, others I reach for in moments of distress. Recently I needed to chase after a pain…
You must know why exercise is important and act on those whys if you want to be your very best in every possible way. Marcus Aurelius and other stoic philosophers would say that we live in our bodies therefore exercising every day is essential if you want to be your optimal self. They were not…
Do you know how to be yourself? What I have learned, after many years of struggle, is that it is quite simple. It is simple but it takes discipline and practice. I grew up both confused by what “just be yourself,” meant exactly and frustrated at my inability to “just” be myself. It didn’t help…
We can all get triggered by external events to different degrees from time to time. If we learn how to deal with triggers in proactive ways, we can add to who we are becoming in a powerfully positive way. I used to try my best to avoid people and things that trigger negative emotions. Either…