How to Suffer less
Suffering is something that can happen to all of us. Sometimes it is inevitable. Still… If you are anything like me, you may suffer more than you need to.
I definitely did that for a long time but I immensely appreciate the life tools that I have that save me from much of it now.
Do we really have to suffer as much as we do?
From my own experience as well as from the experiences of my clients, I can attest that we don’t have to suffer as much as we allow ourselves to suffer. And for every reason, it is helpful to become self-aware of it and know how to save ourselves from them.
Reasons Why You Should Know How to not suffer
You want to know how not to suffer more than you must, to be able to live the best life that you can and be the very best version of yourself that you can be.
Suffering unnecessarily can:
- Disrupt the quality of your life.
- Prevent your optimal success
- Negatively impact your relationships
- Can affect how you see your world
The methods below have helped me and my clients to live with much less suffering than we had once and so can you.
Here are the top things to start learning and practicing…
- What you have and don’t have the power to control
- End self-pity
- Obstacle is a fuel
In the next section, I will go over with you just how you could tackle the above list.
1)What you have and don’t have the power to control
One way that we suffer more than necessary is by worrying, fearing, and aggrandizing an event that we estimate to be negative.
The most effective way to stop that is by putting the event or the potential side effects of the event in two categories.
We can ask ourselves whether we have the power to affect this situation or not. If the answer is yes, we do, then we can figure out the steps that we can take and then take the actions necessary to resolve the situation.
If the answer is no, I do not have any power to affect the event, then the next thing to realize is that it is simply a complete waste of our mental space to put any focus on it and let it go.
You might be thinking that it sounds easy to say but hard to do. That is not true.
Once you realize, truly realize, that there is nothing at all that you gain by focusing on it, you can let it go.
2) End Self-Pity
One of the most powerful things that I have ever done to become a person who suffers less is not seeing myself as a victim in situations.
Because I was a victim of child abuse, I had become identified with that and saw my life through the lens of a powerless victim.
Now that I don’t see myself that way, I am a problem solver and assertive driver of my own life.
And if I do get into that mode, I am able to catch myself and not drown in pity, which used to keep me in the cycle of actually being an ongoing victim.
My life is so much more fun and fluid now that I own my own power.
3) Obstacle is a fuel
Marcus Aurelius tells us in his Meditations that “Obstacle is a fuel.” That every pain or problem can be used to fuel your life’s path.
I find this to be true for me 100% of the time. Anything at all that has hurt me in some way, has held a gem for my development, and leaning into discovering the depth of solution has produced incredible growth in my life always and every time.
You can do the same!
Here is the thing…
There is nothing to lose by suffering less and so much good to gain from it. Rewards are incomparable.
You can do so much more when you are suffering less.
And then…
Once you begin to gain momentum in your growth, to learn how to stop suffering unnecessarily, you can help others to stop suffering unnecessarily
Something to consider on your journey in suffering less…
As you take on this worthy journey, be sure to be mindful of good self-care which will only help to empower what you are trying to do.
And if we…
If we only live once, if this life is the only thing that we get to have, don’t we want to give it all that we’ve got and live all that we can?
And even if there are other lives to be had, we do not remember them so, still, isn’t it worth living the best life that we possibly can?
So go ahead and live your best life by learning and practicing suffering less and watch yourself make a positive impact in your own world.
