How to deal with abandonment issues

We’ve all been there when someone we like starts distancing themselves from us. It’s not a good feeling.

If you have abandonment issues that are rooted in childhood pain, your partner pulling away can be a thousand times more frightening.

Here are some things that you can do if someone close to you is pulling away:

It’s not always about you: If someone is distancing themselves from you, try not to take it too hard. There are likely other factors at play that have nothing to do with you.
If someone close to you starts distancing themselves, don’t try and reel them back in. Allow them the space they need; pushing too hard will only make them withdraw further.
If emotions like insecurity or worry come up for you, it’s better to focus on yourself by healing your wound than try getting the other person to change. They will never change for you, and even if they act as they have, it’s not real. And if it is real, then they’re being inauthentic to themselves–which only makes the issue worse that you were trying to address in the first place.

Why it is important to take a real look at your abandonment issues while experiencing the pulling away?

When people we care about distance themselves from us, it might make our self-esteem plummet. When you have abandonment issues, the hurt is worse than usual and it can feel very similar to dying. Fear can be paralyzing, preventing us from living the life we want.

Abandonment issues are usually brought on by a traumatic experience in our childhood where we felt alone, lost, and helpless. If someone pulls away from us, it can activate past feelings of loneliness and abandonment.

That is why it is so important to take a real look at your abandonment issues when someone close to you is pulling away. Dealing with these feelings is a chance to begin the healing process for past hurts.

If you can manage that, then you will be much better equipped to handle the situation positively. And, you may even find that the person who was pulling away comes back to you.

Reasons You Need to Know how to handle abandonment issues

It can be helpful to know why you are feeling the emotions that you are. It is okay to feel bad sometimes, and you should not be hard on yourself for feeling these negative emotions. Instead, try to understand why you are feeling as deeply and badly as you are. If you can remind yourself WHY you feel a certain way, then it becomes easier to find healthy coping mechanisms.

There are a few reasons why it is essential to know how to react when someone close starts distancing themselves; so that you will not think it has anything to do with you and so that you will not misunderstand the situation.

What you can learn from abandonment issue triggers

If this is happening to you, don’t fear, because there is an opportunity here for you to learn. It is a very good time for you to learn because your emotions are very clear and you take an advantage of this by doing the following:

Realize that this painful moment is an important opportunity to work on your childhood trauma. Start by identifying your feelings. What exactly are you feeling? Allow yourself to fully experience and feel emotions without judging them. Abandonment issues can be worked through, and this is an excellent chance for you to start that process. If you can do these things, then you will be in a much better place to handle the situation positively.
Mindfully begin self-love practice so that you can gain trust in yourself, and that you are there for yourself. This will help you to not need validation from others as much. Practice being accepting of things as they are, rather than how you want them to be. This can be a difficult task, but it is so worth it. It will help you to not take things personally and to see that the other person’s actions have nothing whatsoever to do with you.
Begin taking care of your body as if you are your loving parent. Exercise every day and feed your body only healing and healthy foods.
Start a gratitude practice to focus on all of the good in your life. Make sure to surround yourself with positive and supportive people. All of these things will help you to work through your abandonment issues positively and healthily. If you can do these things, then you will be much better equipped to handle the situation.
Begin investing in alone time where you get to discover that you are a whole being all onto yourself worthy of getting to know and worthy of love because you are getting to know yourself and you are loving yourself. This is so key. Learning how to heal your abandonment issues is a worthy task because it is so worth it. It will change your life for the better in ways that you never thought possible. If you can work through these things, then you will be much better equipped to handle any situation that comes your way. And, you will find that you are a stronger and more capable person because of it.
Realize that the fear that you gained as a child is based on misperception. If you were left in a bad situation as a child, but it wasn’t because you were not lovable or not wantable. You were in the hands of wrong, unloving people. You can begin to unlearn that fear by recognizing it as the lie that it is. Work on building trust in yourself. This is essential. If you cannot trust yourself, then it will be very difficult to trust anyone else. But, if you can work on trusting yourself, then you will find that it is much easier to trust others.

This time might feel scary for you, but it is also a powerful opportunity to heal something that you had to heal so that you can live the best and fullest life that you want to live deep inside your heart. You can do this. You are worth it. And, I believe in you.

I hope that this was helpful to you. If you want more support, please reach out to me. I would be happy to help you in any way that I can.