How to free yourself from shame and guilt

Guilt is an essential emotion as it allows us to realize when we’ve done something wrong and refrain from making that mistake again in the future. However, there comes a time when you must forgive yourself for your transgressions if you want to make any real change – wallowing in guilt and shame will only hold you back from achieving positive growth.

In order to lighten your conscience, follow these three steps. First and foremost, come to terms with your actions. Acknowledge them, own up to them, and take full responsibility for them. This is the only way you can begin making peace with what happened. Secondly, forgive yourself–even though it’s incredibly difficult to do so. Forgiving yourself is key to moving on and enjoying other parts of life again despite this transgression. Lastly but equally important: learn from your mistakes so you never have to repeat the same behavior that got you into feelings of guilt in the first place.

To begin eradicating shame and guilt, remember that everyone messes up—you included—and it’s more than okay to let go of self-blame. Also, take what you can from your mistakes so you won’t commit them again and focus on all the good in your life.

Here is the thing…

Each of us has at least one experience that fills us with shame and embarrassment, something we desperately hope nobody discovers. It might be a regrettable mistake or something we did which was so out of character it’s startling. But even though it’s in the past, the guilt can start to eat away at us until all we can think about is how to make sure nobody finds out.

Life is full of second chances. If you make a mistake, it’s okay! What counts is that you learn from your error and take steps not to repeat the same behavior again in the future. Plus, don’t forget to focus on all of life’s wonderful positives — there are plenty of them!

I have done things that I am not proud of in my life. When we remember these memories, we often feel bad about ourselves and feel like we are less than those who we think have never done such things. We may fear that they will judge us harshly and lose all respect for us or even stop being our friends.

The reality is that when we open up and tell selected others(those who have earned our trust) about our fears and allow them to see us as human beings with frailties and weaknesses, we might find newfound depths of connection between us.

And if they are truly our friends, they will accept us for who we are – mistakes and all. We all have them. No one is perfect.

What we need to do is learn from our mistakes, forgive ourselves, and move on. We cannot change the past, but we can influence the future. So focus on the positive aspects of your life and let go of the shame and guilt. You deserve it.

Once you decide to get free by processing them in a healthy and helpful manner be patient with yourself. It might take time as often anything worthwhile takes an investment of our time, but we are worth the investment. People we love are worth our investment in our healing as well because without doing that we cannot truly be our best for them.

It’s not always easy but it is so worth the effort. If we want to be free, we have to do the work. No one can do it for us. And it is worth every bit of effort to be free from the chains of our past.

The steps that you can take to get free of shame and guilt

1. Take a good look at the memory that you are ashamed of. Really look at it. Would you do that again? Likely no, but if you have any doubts, give some thoughts as to why that might be. I would guess that it might be related to some leftover healing that you may need to do.
2. Next give yourself radical self-acceptance, a reminder that you are lovable just because you are a human being, and kindly forgive yourself as you would forgive another person in the same situation. Likely you would judge another person with far more allowance and would forgive with far more ease.
3. Remind yourself of your life’s goal which is to always be the best version of yourself and with shame and guilt in your subconscious, you are held back from being your very best.
4. The next time another memory pops up, go through the 3 steps to process through the past to a more empowered proactive you.

The goal is to live our lives from a place of self-love rather than self-hate. So be gentle with yourself, learn from your mistakes, and move on. And always remember that you are not alone. We all make mistakes. You are just like everyone else – human. So go out there and be the best you can be!

Shame and guilt can hold us back from achieving our dreams

When we are bogged down by shame and guilt, it can be difficult to move forward in our lives and achieve our goals. We may feel like we are not good enough or that we do not deserve success.

These negative emotions can prevent us from taking risks and putting ourselves out there. They can make us feel like we are not worthy of love and happiness.

However, it is important to remember that we are all human and that we all make mistakes. What matters is how we learn from our mistakes and move on from them.